We made it through another one. Here are a dozen of my wishes for the new year:
• Carroll Fife leaves the City Council. For where, I don’t know, or care.
• Barbara Lee resigns as mayor. City Council president Kevin Jenkins replaces her as interim mayor. I don’t know where he would take the city, but at least he’s young, intelligent and not entirely woke, and is probably the best we can hope for.
• Downtown revives, including a vibrant club nightlife. This will never happen until Oakland solves the public safety problem, which leads to my next wish:
• OPD fulltime staffing is increased to 1,100. This can only be afforded if Oakland takes a chopping block to the budget and eliminates every race-based program, including so-called “anti-violence” schemes. A lot of people will lose their jobs. Too bad. Amazon is hiring.
• The Oakland Unified School District fires every teacher who pushes a racialized agenda on her students. This means that every classroom will be entirely purged of Afrocentric propaganda.
• Every living past mayor of Oakland apologizes to the people of Oakland for the part they played in helping to destroy Oakland. One exception: Jerry Brown.
• The following organizations are terminated with prejudice. All are corrupt, and aid and abet criminals:
1. Federal Monitor (Warshaw)
2. Police (Oversight) Commission
3. NSA Plaintiffs’ Attorneys
4. The Police Commission
5. The Community Police Review Agency
6. Office of the Inspector General
7. The Privacy Advisory Commission
8. The Community Policing Advisory Board
9. The Oakland Public Safety Policy and Oversight Commission
• Every tent and makeship homeless structure in Oakland is removed, and their residents ordered to find someplace else to live, at penalty of incarceration.
• The crazy people who wander our streets and terrorize citizens are forcibly hospitalized and made to become sober. This will be a blessing on them as well as us.
• Oakland passes a law making parcel taxes illegal.
• An independent auditor, with the power to bring lawsuits, is hired to oversee every penny of Oakland’s budget. Departments that exceed their budget will be automatically terminated, including the School District, and their top administrators will be personally sued for malfeasance.
AND FINALLY…
Please accept my sincerest wishes for a healthy, happy and SAFE 2026! Take care of yourself, love your city, and don’t stop believing we can rescue Oakland from the Right and the Left extremes, both of which are insane.
Steve Heimoff