A report from the New York Times contains this startling statement: “The country [Japan] has never mandated masks or vaccinations, but it’s evaded the worst of Covid, thanks to a fear of public shaming and the ‘self restraint police.’”
It quoted a Japanese woman explaining why she wore a full-face mask even outdoors, with temperatures in the mid-90s: “People will stare at you [if you don’t]. There is that pressure.”
Here in America, where each of us guards our individual freedom zealously, you don’t hear much anymore about peer pressure. But in the past that wasn’t so. The term “mores” is practically obsolete nowadays, but mores (pronounced “MORE-ays”) used to govern practically everyone’s public behavior. “Mores determine what is considered morally acceptable or unacceptable within any given culture,” explains Wikipedia. For example, when I was a kid growing up in the ultra-Jewish Bronx, it was considered morally wrong to work on the Sabbath. Even relatively non-observant Jews like my parents took it easy on Saturday. There were other mores: you didn’t cheat on your spouse or, if you did, you made damned sure not to get caught. Divorce was an absolute no-no. Fathers were expected to provide financially for their families, and to obey the law. Children were expected to be obedient little charges. Those who wandered from these standards were shunned to a greater or lesser degree by the community.
Granted, this was the 1950s, a period of great conformity in America. The cultural revolutions of the 1960s, which were thought to be so liberating, did in fact lead to greater plurality of opinion and behavior, as more after more was toppled. It was good that Americans now felt free to “do their own thing.” But everything comes at a cost: when we threw off the yoke of conformity and obedience to mores, we also abandoned the ability of the American people to act as a unit, which undermined the cohesion of the community. The result is exactly what we see today: red and blue states, the country divided as never before. Witness our reaction to COVID mandates: some red districts practically launched violent insurrections in their refusal to wear masks or get vaccinated, which is why America—as opposed to Japan—has such a high rate of COVID infections.
I often think of the mores of yesteryear here in Oakland, where crime and unpleasant, anti-social behavior are so widespread. If we respected mores, I believe we’d have less of both crime and anti-social behavior. The former term needs no definition, but the latter—anti-social behavior—is perhaps even more galling to the average citizen than is crime. After all, the likelihood of you or me personally being a victim of crime is pretty low. But all of us have to suffer the slights and indignations that come from bad public behavior, whether it’s a car blaring music at 2 a.m., a heap of fast-food rubbish in the curb, a shooting on International Boulevard, or the theft of a UPS package from the front doorstep. Would it make me sound hopelessly, foolishly anachronistic to suggest that, if we raised our children to have greater respect for mores, Oakland would be a far better place to live?
I’m not expecting any changes anytime soon. Oaklanders have largely abandoned mores—public values, which some see as racist, or as the antiquated, cumbersome legacy of white male supremacy. If someone even so much as suggests that communities of color do a better job raising their children, he is roundly condemned. But that doesn’t make it untrue: Everybody has to do a better job raising children. Keep them in school; make them clean up after themselves. Never, under any circumstances, litter. The words “Please” and “thank you” are beautiful. Forbid your kids to join gangs. Crack the whip whenever they step out of line. Teach boys to respect girls, instead of calling them bitches and ho’s. Tell your children that violence is absolutely prohibited. Instruct them to respect their neighbors, and their neighborhoods. If your kid does something stupid and illegal, don’t blame everybody else: blame your kid, and make sure he’s punished and understands why he’s being punished. Let’s bring mores back; kids who act out like little gangbangers should expect to be stared at disapprovingly. Become a member of the “self-restraint” police and wear your badge proudly!
Steve Heimoff