Guy on corner with clipboard, to pedestrian: “Are you a voter? Faster 9-1-1 response time and housing for the homeless. Just sign here.” The rehearsed lines will be repeated dozens of times this day.
Stupid voter: “Wow. All you need is my signature, and we’ll have faster 9-1-1 response times and house the homeless?”
Guy with clipboard: “That’s right. Just sign here.”
Oh, lord, if it were just that simple. If the stupid voter had the intelligence of a doorknob, he would ask a few questions. (1) Are you getting paid per signature? (2) By whom? (3) Where does all the money for these things come from? After all, it’s expensive to hire more emergency operators. And in order to house homeless people, Oakland would have to buy expensive, existing housing stock, or build new housing, at an unknown per-unit price. So who pays for it all?”
Well, those are just a few questions the stupid voter could ask, but being a stupid voter, he won’t. Just as well: the guy with the clipboard couldn’t answer them anyway. The signature-gatherer could, of course, tell him the truth about being paid, but he knows that if he doesn’t, the stupid voter will forget within 30 seconds he ever asked, because stupid voters have the memory of a gnat. And believe me, there are a lot of stupid voters in Oakland.
According to the Oakland City Clerk, the only requirement for soliciting signatures for a proposed ballot amendment is the payment of a filing fee of $500. There is no requirement that the ballot language be truthful, or even make sense. There is no requirement that signature gatherers tell the truth. There is no requirement that the real people behind the initiative, or their true motives, must be identified to prospective voters. All of these loopholes, in fact, open the initiative process to the corruption we see so often in Oakland, where stupid voters place unworkable initiatives on the ballot because they sound good to stupid minds.
I am proposing that the City Council immediately draft standards to improve the ballot qualifying process and make it stronger and more honest. Among these requirements are:
a. That each proposed ballot promise contain detailed information on how it will be paid for, including how much, and if it involves raising taxes.
b. That the City create a new administrative position, Fulfillment Arbitrator, who will determine, as quickly as possible, but mandatorily within six months, if initiatives have been successful, or not.
c. That each signature gatherer be required to attend at least one educational seminar on the details of the initiative, and be able to pass an examination afterwards to prove they’ve learned the details.
d. That if signature gatherers relay false information to voters, then all signatures they gather shall be invalidated.
e. That each organization paying signature gatherers publicly reveals all its funding sources.
f. That all advertising for initiatives contain links to items (a) through (e).
g. That the City Council draft language requiring certain conditions in order for citizens to vote in local elections.
These conditions will include educational status (at least a high school degree), a one-year residency in Oakland, and not being on welfare. We really have to get serious about tightening our election laws. Permitting stupid people to vote has been a huge mistake. When stupid people vote, they vote for stupid things, and society goes backwards, not forwards.
Steve Heimoff