Jared is such a slut. He’s turned on by handsome, sexy Middle Eastern rich guys with facial hair, like MBS. He says he’s not “bi”, just “curious.”
Melania’s ass is starting to sag and she hates it.
That redneck freak JD Vance still craps in a wooden outhouse he built in his backyard. Can you believe it?
Barron spends hours in what he calls his bate cave, in the basement below the Residence. He reeks of some chemical he sniffs, and watches seven different screens, all at the same time. What does he watch? I presume it’s porno.
Everybody hates that bitch Karoline Leavitt. They call her Krazy Kar. All she does is suck up to the President. She even had a blowup doll made to order that looks just like him. Bob Downing, the Chief Usher, told me she sleeps with it.
President Trump has a doggie bowl in the Oval he keeps for Mike Johnson. It has the Speaker’s name and picture on it. It’s supposed to be a joke but, you know, it’s not. The weirdest thing is that whenever Speaker Johnson is in the Oval for a meeting, the President fills the bowl with hamburger.
Ivanka and Jared barely speak anymore. He’s hanging out with his hot Middle Eastern bro’s while she’s seeing more and more of one of her Secret Service agents, a really studly dude she calls Magic Man.
Stephen Miller thinks he’s sexy. He stuffs sox in his crotch. Melania thinks it’s hysterical. “Man is so stupid,” she says. “Think women find attractive. Women not.”
The one I feel sorry for is Joseph, Jared and Ivanka’s older son. He’s really sweet. He worships his Grandpa, but the President isn’t very good with children.
The President has never liked Marco Rubio. You remember he called him “Little Marco” and “very nasty” in the 2016 campaign. These days, the President calls him “Fredo.” The President actually has little tolerance for Latinos. Secretary Rubio knows this and keeps his distance. Anytime the two of them are together, you can feel the tension.
Steve Heimoff